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Age: 15

jim-letter

Full text:

11/21/93

Dear Jim,

Nobody understands you. Nobody can even fully comprehend your mystique. Granted, I can see where some people couldn’t see the intelligence in anything that you did, but it wasn’t about smartness or there lack of, was it? It was about bringing everything to the furthest possible edge, to expand the realms, to bring reality to its knees. I wish I could be so brave. I want to experience the visions, the feelings of total power over the minutest of things, to take the most mundane things and make them extraordinary. But I think I’ve absorbed everything of the typical life, the normal society, a bit too much to ever be able to reach that depth of observation, of that knowledge. I can try, but all that will come of it would be one night of sheer entertainment with others, falling down and getting back up, laughing insanely then experiencing a total blow of reality after the trip that would make everything a bit more depressing than usual. I could never accomplish the actual mentality trip, be one with the mind, I don’t think my whole could take that. But I definitely could try. But is that what you really did? Did you find expansion of the mind, or was that just an overblown assumption all the writers have made of you, and now you’re laughing in your grave at the incredible stupidity and gullibility of all the ones who thought they understood, who thought they believed, but you know it was all an immense sham and a play for all the ones who wanted a show? Is that it? Has my pattern of thinking been that off? If so, I’ll give this to you: you’re one hell of an actor. But I don’t believe any of that to be true. I believe you really did have a purpose in taking the drugs, and you weren’t just a strung out junkie looking for a good time and enough money for just one more fix. I believe you felt total control and uncontrollability in the same instant, because you knew control didn’t really matter, didn’t even exist. I wish I could’ve known you, and it wouldn’t of have to have been on any kind of personal level either, just to take part with the millions of onlookers watching you evolve, watching you take flight, and then the descend. But since I didn’t, I like to think I can feel, if just in the slightest, of what I hear, what I read, what I see. I hope you wouldn’t strike me down for that hope.
Love always,
Kristy
age 15

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Age: unknown?

Julie,

This has been going on long enough. I’ve always kept my mouth shut before, but now I have to speak out. I feel like I’m being ignored by you! I feel like your purposely trying to make me jealous! You knew I was in your group, but you didn’t even walk with me! Or talk with me! It was always Danielle, Danielle, Danielle!!! “Danielle sit here! Danielle come here!” Why? Just because she’s super pretty & super popular? Just trying to make me jealous with that? But I don’t think you would do something like that! I know you better! So why don’t you ever pay any attention to me in school? Outside of school, we’re best of friends! But inside school you act like I’m not even there! See, that’s what this letter’s about! It’s about why you seem to hate me all of a sudden! Not that I think you shouldn’t have any other friends. See what I’m getting at? I’m willing to forget this whole thing if you’ll talk it out or write it out with me, OK? Understand? Understood!

P.S. Pleeeeeeeeeeeease, feed that poor, starving turtle of your’s? Actually, I’ve had my headbrace for 9 weeks, and I know I haven’t slept over anybody’s since I got it including yours, so, if the only time it ever gets fed is when I’m over, well, it hasn’t been fed in 9 weeks! Jeeeeeeeeeeezzzz!!!!!

Write back!!!

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Age: unknown?

Julie,

I have to tell you everything that is on my mind so here goes. You don’t seem to care about me anymore. Maybe its my imagination, but that’s the way I feel. And I’ve got plenty of proof to back it up.

For one thing my picture isn’t up in your locker anymore. Another thing, you never have any time to write me a letter, but you do for Amy. And you invited Renee to go along with you & Amy, but not me. Well, maybe that’s because Amy hates me, but still. Also, we used to always spend the weekends together. Now its Amy, Amy, Amy. even if you’re allegedlly sick of her, you still go skating. Enough of Amy. You never hang around me, you never talk to me, you never write me notes. So why don’t you think about it, and shape up or your short of a best friend. (Or are you already?)

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Age: unknown?

Dear Julie,

I don’t know if it’s my imagination or not, but it seems everyone hates me, including you. Why don’t you ever talk to me or sit next to me? I changed my mind to go on the field trip ’cause I knew we’d be on the same bus & in the same group, but you don’t care! I don’t mean to be rude, but this is the way I feel. Now, I can understand not wanting to be my only best friend, ’cause now you have Amy, but at least still be my friend!!!!! You’re really hurting my feelings. I’ve always kept my mouth shut before, but I’ve got to express my feelings. You’re never inviting me anywhere, never offering me anything, and never ask to borrow anything. I wish you would be my friend again.

Please, talk to me or write back.

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